Wisconsin– While out jogging jogging on the night of September 24th, an off-duty officer observed Gerard Streator, 46, mating with a yellow couch that had been left on Waukesha curb.
Officer Ryan Edwards reported seeing “a subject leaning over the couch facing down and it looked like he was having sexual relations with someone on the couch.” The cop noted that he “could see the male’s hips thrusting up and down on the couch.”
As he approached the couch, Edwards yelled, “What are you doing?” Streator, investigators allege, responded by jumping up and running away. As Streator fled, Edwards reported, he “could see that the defendant’s penis was erect.”
Edwards concluded that Streator “had been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.” It is unclear whether the reference to two cushions meant that the couch was, in fact, a love seat.
Edwards chased Streator to his apartment building, but the suspect “quickly pulled the door closed behind him.” He was arrested the following day at the hotel where he works.
I hope he used protection.
We can’t have some bastard armchairs running around.